all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
