Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
