I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
This is my gift to your gina
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
