over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
How many fucks given?
0.12846
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
