YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
