i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
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You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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