i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
