I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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