I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just invented taco cereal.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
