I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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