Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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