Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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