were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
