my vag is so smooth its legendary
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
