I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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