I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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