Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
