I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
