Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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