8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
