ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
