this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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