Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
