I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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