Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
