Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
My bed smells like the plague
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
