I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
