She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
third nipple confirmed
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
