he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
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Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
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Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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