theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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