Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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