i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You need Xanax blowdarts
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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