A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Randomize
