You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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