I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
