We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
