Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
