The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Randomize
