AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
