It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
