my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize