So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
