I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Success! We fucked roommates!
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