Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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