I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
