Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
