Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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