And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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