I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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