he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
my being single is dangerous.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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