Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
