sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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