"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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