Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
