dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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