Your face is a jimmy john
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Randomize
