I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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