I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
