I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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