Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I am midnight drunk by noon
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
