THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
True college students do jello shots in the library
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