i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
