is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
