he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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