Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
