you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
